Thinking Out Loud

Dear Reader,

Okay, this is a big moment.  I don't think I've been this self-revelatory...ever.  Let's see how this goes.

Recently, I've started having discussions with folks about discipline.  These discussions have encompassed personal disciple, and how, when I become a parent, how much television my children will watch.  I have friends who don't watch television outside of renting the occasional DVD, and then some have the television on consistently.  Neither way is bad.  I'm just thinking about these things now.

To open myself up a bit, I have battled an addiction to the television (yes, television) my whole life. It's been the fact that I have felt compelled to have it on "for noise" or, in my teenage years, I would have to flip through every station, "just to insure nothing was on that I wanted to watch." It is definitely something that I struggle with.  Not just the fact that it's on, but then you wonder into programs that do not line up with Philippians 4:8.  Whatever the program, it's not edifying--either too violent, too sexually suggestive, or too stupid.  And, being reminded of the command in  Proverbs 4:23, I need to hold fast to my purity, not just physically, but mentally, and emotionally.

So, what's a guy to do?  Well, I am learning to cling to Psalm 37:5.  I love this verse.  It's a challenge in that commitment takes intent.  It is definitely an action verse.  Lay it at God's feet, trust in him, and he will act. Second, I'm going to begin journaling my television viewing habits.  I want to be faithful to log what I watch, when I watch, and the length of time I watch the program.  This is going to be interesting.

Will you pray with me and for me about this?  As always, Dear Reader, feel free to comment.  Encouragement, admonishment, or beseeching will be welcomed.

What If...

Maybe it's because I feel like I have some "down" mental time. Maybe it's because I want to procrastinate. Either way, I just starting wondering about a lot of "What If" questions in life.

What if I studied theology in undergrad?

What if I had pursued an education degree instead of communications?

What if I had not bothered with law school?

What if I am in the wrong profession?

What if I'm in the right place?

What if I hadn't bought my house?

What if I was more humble?

What if I'd passed the bar the first time?

What if this stage in my life isn't what God desires?

What if this isn't my cross to bear? Better yet, what is my cross, God?

What if I'm really not called to the legal profession?

What if I'm called to something else?

What if there's something better?

What if I'm just doing this to procrastinate?

Honestly, I have to be honest with God and honest with myself. Even while I look at my desk and wonder how all of these piles got all over my desk, I am amazed that I am where I am. God has truly brought me to this particular point in time to do the particular things that I am doing for his glory.


“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12,13)